Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
