So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
