Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
