dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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