I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
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she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
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Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.