is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat