Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Can I color on your dick again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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