meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
