Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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