i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
