I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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