WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
