O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize