Her vagina should come with caution tape.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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