i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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