Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
