Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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