So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
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The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
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Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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