she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
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I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
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I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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