I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
