Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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