let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
