I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
