After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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