I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
sarcasm needs its own font
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
