On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
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How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
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her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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