The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
