i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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