doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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