i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
