What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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