I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I think my fart just growled at me.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
