haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
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You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
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Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
It can also be a hat.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk