Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
Terrible brother advice.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.