Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Drunk walkin through police station. America
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.