Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF