Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
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