First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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