Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
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We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize