I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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