There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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