They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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