Cold hands, warm shart.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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