We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
