Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
