So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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