so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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