When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
