I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
