We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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