I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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