brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
