I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
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she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
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You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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