Whod you bang
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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