I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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