dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize