i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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