Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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