Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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