How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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