is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
