Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
